30 Days to Nirvana and Enlightenment the (“Breaking”) Bad Way

Do you find yourself behaving in dysfunctional, unwise behaviors that are obviously hurting you and those you care  deeply about but can’t help yourself and don’t understand why you act as you do?

As a recovering alcoholic who watched his wife, Amy Althaus, commit a slow suicide via daily doses of cheap vodka and who nearly died after quitting drinking cold-turkey month after Amy died, I have learned the hard way the dangers and power of alcoholism. 

It took Amy’s death, my own struggles with booze and reading Eckhart Tolle’s “A New Earth” before I had a life-transforming revelation that not only explains why we behave obsessively despite a slew of negative consequences but inspired me to write  a book, “Overcome Any Personal Obstacle, including Alcoholism, by Understanding Your Ego”. 

That led to the creation of this blog, then to “The ‘Bad’ Path to Nirvana: Experience Enlightenment by NOT Acting Like W.W.” — http://.gumroad.com/products/RglBe. 

That led to “10 Days to Nirvana and Enlightenment the (“Breaking”) Bad Way”, which will be available on Gumroad in early July.

What you get:

  1. The best quotes from the arguably the best series in TV history with analysis of how It is the sly machinations of Walter White’s ego, not any external threats like his DEA Agent brother-in-law Hank Schrader, that is his greatest enemy.
  2. A corresponding Buddhist-like quote to inspire and enlighten those whose life’s journey is marred by obsessive and ruinous behaviors.
  3. The ten best, most “Bad”-centric posts from my “Join the spiritual evolution: Live Beyond your Egoblog (the one you’re presently reading).
  4. A free copy of my “The ‘Bad’ path to Enlightenment: Experience Nirvana by NOT Doing What W. W. Does” eBook.Edit

In short, everything you need to become a Zen Buddhist Master (except all that “extra” stuff about attachment, suffering, dukkha, dharma, origin of Buddhism, and so:  you can learn about these on my blog posts about Harold Ramis) is in your bundle.

So that’s it. Enjoy your totally unique, epic and unparalleled journey we call Life. I hope and pray my product makes the ride better. 

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Walter White and You Have More in Common than You Probably Think

In “Felina”, the finale of the epic, riveting, harrowing and ultimately tragic ride of the iconic Walter White ride, we can see the dangers of an egocentric mindset. For those of you who haven’t seen the series or who seen only a few episodes, Walter White is a mild-mannered high school chemistry teacher who discovers he has terminal lung disease. He accompanies DEA agent (also his brother-law) on a meth-lab raid in which over $700,00 is confiscated from the meth dealer. Walter sees a way for him to pay for his cancer treatment: use his background in chemistry to become a meth maker and dealer former student Jesse Pinkman is already in the meth business and barely escapes being arrested in the raid).

Then over five seasons we see Walter become a master maker of blue crystal and grow into a drug kingpin. During the transformation from chemistry teacher to drug lord, Walter’s criminal lifestyle creates havoc, strain and massive disruptions to his personal life. He doesn’t see the elephant in the room because his ego-induced pride blinds him to the misery he’s creating. You see, Walter isn’t that different from most of us in that he feels compelled to forge an unique, special and kick-ass identity. And he can use some of that dough from the meth trade to leave his family to support them after lung cancer takes his life.


 But the key to Walter’s tragic ride is that he’s really more focused on accomplishing on the former while claiming the latter is his number-one priority. It isn’t until his final conversation with wife Skyler that he confesses he did “it” (build drug empire) for himself: “I did it for me,” Walt confesses. “I liked it. I was good at it. And, I was really… I was alive.”

As noted in an earlier post on this blog, Walter White, aka Heisenberg, Isn’t addicted to taking drugs like his customers. He’s addicted to MAKING drugs.

So Walt doesn’t directly get off on a meth-induced high but he is “feelin’ it”: the ego trip that comes with creating an outstanding, unique product that customers crave, associated spending power (wealth),
and thrill of evading and outmaneuvering law-enforcement agencies (in his case, led by brother-in-law Hank Schrader of local branch of the DEA).  

In the case of me and alcohol, like Walter White and making meth, what we initially set out to accomplish – him supporting his family financially after he dies from lung cancer and me connecting with others (by catching a good buzz) in social settings – both changed for the worst.

The challenge, and the key to opening a gateway that takes you out of your initially well-intentioned but now misguided and self-destructive behavior, is to discover and accept what your true intentions are. And if you don’t like the answer, then be brave enough to change your intentions.  

Take as much time and effort as you need to honestly answer the question of your intentions. If you find an answer you don’t like, then I’ve got an upcoming post you’ll be interested in. It’s entitled “Seven Quirky, Touchy-Feely, Very Real and Effective Ways to Make Room for the New & Improved You”.

NOTE: Written by Lee A. Eide, author of “The ‘Bad’ Path to Enlightenment: Experience Nirvana by NOT Doing What W.W. Does” – http://www.gumroad.com/products /RglBe — 

and “Overcome Any Personal Obstacle by Understanding Your Ego” – http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/lee writer.


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Does it Matter Whether Jesus Christ Really Rose from the Dead and Ascended into Heaven?

I read a book written by a lawyer named Lee Stroebel entitled “The Case for Christ: A Journalist’s Personal Investigationof the Evidence for Jesus”.  Stroebel examines the evidence for Jesus’ status as a messiah like a court of law would. In essence, Stroebel presents a case that Jesus is “guilty” as charged, that He truly did die for our sins, rise from the dead and ascend into heaven.


It made the bestseller list. It undoubtedly converted a few souls to Christianity and strengthened the faith of millions of people who were on verge of disavowing their religious faith or at least questioning its validity. The author presents a compelling argument. He counts the number of people who claimed to have encountered Jesus after the Resurrection. Stroebel reviews all the witnesses to Jesus’ crucification. The prose is riveting, the story is told with much passion but also based on a hard, cold facts and uses logic and evidence of the nature of Jesus like a judge and jury would.

But I don’t believe the Resurrection and Ascension actually happened. I also argue that in one sense, it doesn’t matter if Jesus literally came back from the dead and then ascended into heaven. I interpret the Biblical story to be a symbolic and metaphorical one. Stroebel and many Christians go to great lengths to prove that Jesus came back to life (and also that his birth was truly an Immaculate Conception, another story I’m not buying but again, it’s irrelevant) so that believers feel comforted knowing Christ triumphed over death.


It matters only in the sense that for some folks, they need an actual, literal link to God to overcome the doubting, cynical part of them. And there’s nothing wrong with that. Look no farther than Thomas, the cynical apostle who had to touch Jesus’ wounds before he believed that Jesus had risen from the dead.

For me, people who’re agonizing over the literal truth of Jesus’ divine nature are missing the point. God, divinity, metaphysics, and philosophy are viewed uniquely by each person. There’s a ton of “wiggle room” in the shoes of belief we all wear. And for sure, one size does not fit all.


Available as a digital download at http://gumroad.com/products/RglBe.


Available in both electronic and hard copy at http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/leewriter.

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The Illusion of Past and Future, and of a Separate Self

The Illusion of Past and Future, and of a Separate Self.

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The Illusion of Past and Future, and of a Separate Self

Even though I’m currently closer to being a Buddhist than a Christian, one can’t dispute that Jesus Christ is an invaluable source of inspiration, moral guidance and comfort for billions of people on Planet Earth. To me, his greatest contribution is to help people live in the present moment.

Christians are freed from living under the guilt of their (past) transgressions because Jesus died for their sins. And their love of and belief in the Holy Trinity means they need not fear (future) death because they have eternal life through the triune God. So in this sense, Jesus helps people see through the illusion of the past and future.

Why are the past and future illusions? If you reflect on it, you will realize the same event from your past (or anyone’s past) can be interpreted in different ways. Whether it’s a personal event like a prom date or an epic event like going to war with another country, once the event is over, the truthfulness, the essential nature of what happened, is not clear-cut.

Kennedy’s assassination and UFO’s are perfect examples. Different people have different takes on, respectively,  who was involved in plot to kill Robert Kennedy and whether UFO’s are proof of the existence of extraterrestrial beings.

The future, whether on a personal or societal level, is even more uncertain. Meteorologists and economists have improved their accuracy but the weather and economy rarely conform to even the experts’ visions.

On a superficial level, the past and future are real. The past definitely happened and the future will eventually arrive but the true value of both are comprised of a series of PRESENT MOMENTS. The true excitement of life is greatest as it happens. The greater the time gap between an event and its recollection, the harder it becomes to capture the raw emotions you experienced when the event took place.

For example, when I attended an Easter Church Tenebrae service — done on the eve of Good Friday to highlight the somber nature of Jesus’ death — towards the end of service, when the only light in the sanctuary was a single candle by the pulpit, and Pastor Jim read the line, “It is done”, a chill ran down my spine. The way the pastor read the line combined with darkened church created a surprisingly intimate connection between Jesus and me that reslted in the chill I felt. Today, about twenty years after it happened, I don’t get a chill running down my spine when I recall that magical moment. Intectually I can recreate the moment but it lacks the power and impact of the present moments that I experienced back then.

Getting drunk takes me out the present but I still occasionally do it anyway. That’s my Malignant Egophrenia taking control over my consiousness. The ego tricks one into believing the individual self is separate from the rest of the universe. The ego also looks to the past for behavorial clues and cues. Since I used to get drunk a lot, my ego has pigeonholed me as a drunk. It’s a generalization that lacks truth but it’s a convenient label that provides a measure of comfort to the self.

So the war between THE ONE LIFE (POWER OF THE PRESENT MOMENT) and MALIGNANT EGOPHRENIA (ME, as Paul Levy refers to the term he coined, see http://www.realitysandwich.com) rages on. I wish you the best in aligning yourself with the former because the latter is deceptively powerful and alluring.

NOTE:  Check out “The ‘Bad’ Path to Enlightenment”, my compilation of “Breaking Bad”-themed blog posts at http://www.gumroad.com/products/RglBe. It got 3 out of 4 stars from OnlineBookClub.org reviewer.



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“A Watched Teapot Truly Does (Eventually) Boil so What’s Up With That?”

My version of the above activity is waiting for the green-route bus to appear while I’m at my bus stop. Adages aren’t always literally true so one needs to interpret, to extrapolate what the adage is saying on a deeper level. In the case of the famous watched teapot or my less-famous bus appearing example, the adage has at least three meanings (implications):

  • Focusing all your attention on a single short-term goal takes us out of the Now, and thereby can rob us of appreciating other treasures in our environment.
  • Fixating on a single event that turns out not to occur as soon we hope or expect it to occur promotes a state of desiring and attachment.
  • Sometimes we need to shift our focus to other goals and activities and allow processes set in motion by our efforts run their course (which may well take longer we have anticipated and/or want them to take.


Think of it this way: once you set the burner at a high level, there’s nothing more you need to do to expedite the process. You might as well let the physics work their magic. You peering at the teapot waiting for the steam to appear is completely unnecessary. Sure, occasionally you have to check it out but in the initial stages, you don’t need to be involved.

The same with my bus example. What if a beautiful woman in tight pants walks by and I’m fixated on the appearance of my boring old bus? I miss the enjoyment and excitement of a lovely woman passing by me because I’m distracted by the bus-showing-up deal. How sad is that?


The practice of wanting/expecting a desired event to occur leads to living a life filled with perpetual want and desire. This promotes unhappiness because it’s difficult to truly relish a pleasurable experience when your a part of you is already thinking about the next “thing” you “must have”. It’s like the SNL character Roseanne Roseannadanna’s signature line: “If it’s not one thing, it’s another” only instead of bad things happening, it’s good things happening. The key is our attitude towards external events, good, bad or neutral.

Becoming obsessed about need- and want-fulfillment is much like being a slave. The slave master is your want/desire. Metaphorically speaking, you’re in shackles and you think getting what you desire will set you free. But the truth is getting what you desire may set you free or it may keep you trapped in an endless cycle of want, fulfillment and letdown.


Our egos are noisy, greedy, wanting and impatient. It’s an “all about me” attitude that makes playing well with others nigh impossible. If you can somehow (meditation and intention are most powerful weapons in your spiritual arsenal) dissolve the rigid boundaries your ego constructs , that will open up a grand and exciting new world. It’s your egocentric mindset that hides the wonder and mystery of the universe by sticking incomplete and limited labels on everyone and everything that’s not you.

By time management, I mean focusing your mental energies on the present moment instead of recalling the past or musing about the future. When you accept, and buy into, the place and circumstances you find yourself in, your stress level is zero. You can smile and be happy because there’s no place you’d rather be than where you are. That is so liberating and exciting. But you have to ignore the incessant, compelling call of your ego to want to be somewhere other than where you are. To the ego, you always deserve more than what you’re getting. You’re always better than whatever you happen to be doing at the moment. Don’t fall for it. You’re fine just where and when you’re at. The present moment, the ever-shifting Now, is all we have. Accept it, embrace it, love it. That’s Life. Nothing more and nothing less.

Written by The Dr. of Badology

aka Lee A. Eide

Also Written by Lee A. Eide:

“The Dr. of Badology Presents: The ‘Bad’ Path to Nirvana – Experience Enlightenment by Not Doing What W.W. Does” – https://gumroad.com/products/RglBe

Live the Perfect Life Now! – Discover & Experience Essence of Buddhism in 50 Pages


“Dead Man’s Plan” – http://bookstore.xlibris.com/Products/SKU-0060704049/Dead-Mans-Plan.aspx

Self-help book blog, JOIN THE SPIRITUAL EVOLUTION: LIVE BEYOND YOUR EGO – https://sobrietybytamingyourego.wordpress.com

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Everyone, Including and Especially Your Ego, Wants Something From You

  • The typical male-female sexual-drive difference.
  • Lobbyists in Washington, DC trying to exert their influence.
  • Young children shopping at Wal-Mart with their parent(s).
  • My cat, Shaggy II, MEOWING for more cat treats
  • Lastly, and perhaps most importantly, your ego vying for a piece of your self

In each case, the gatekeeper – a female, an elected member of the federal or state legislature, a mother and/or father, a pet owner (yours truly) and lastly, the truly conscious, aware person in us all – has to assess the demands of an entity that’s less powerful than we are but that nonetheless possesses powerfully persuasive skills that present a compelling story of need and want.

There’s an unwritten but understood rule: The less powerful party will always try to get more than they need so it’s the job of the gatekeeper to say no a certain percentage of the time.

Man Courting Woman

The similarity between males seeking sex with their female partner and my cat lobbying for cat treats is especially striking. I know how women with horny men feel. I look at Shaggy II and see how overweight he is and think, “You don’t need more cat treats, Buddy. You’ve had plenty of late. Forget it, no treats for you (yes, I am the Cat Treat Nazi).” Women must go through a similar assessment process. She knows how much recent sexual activity the couple has engaged in and often thinks, “You’ve had plenty of sex-related fun lately. You can wait.” And if the male really feels the need for sexual gratification (release), there is another way to achieve that without resorting to hookers. Just like my cat can always eat his regular cat food. In both cases, the alternative isn’t as attractive and satisfying as the primary option but it gets the job done.

Cat begging for treat

This lobbying for <INSERT WANT, NEED, DESIRE HERE> is reminiscent of my recent “Life Is Just Series of Musicals After All” – http://wp.me/p2Pija-K0 – in that each lobbying effort, for sex, cat treats, favorable legislation, a piece of your consciousness’s attention, is a song and dance of sorts. The person or entity doing the requesting puts on a performance they hope will convince you to buy into their story so you do as they request or at least give you something close to what is being sought.

So what does your ego want? Mostly it wants to separate you from the rest of the universe. It will try to tell you that you have a personal identity that’s better, prettier, and more important than everyone and everything else. Therefore you’re completely justified in sacrificing the welfare and well-being of others in order to improve your lot in life.

The ego wants to put, and keep you, in a box. The box of a limited self. But you have weapons to defend yourself. Attitude and awareness are the two biggest ones. The attitude is one of relentlessly seeking the truth about all things, most especially your true, unbounded, limitless nature. Awareness means you’re able to, at least some of the time, move beyond the merely intellectual, thinking mind and elevate your state of consciousness so you’re truly aware of you and your surroundings as they truly are, and the state of being is beyond a mere cataloging and superficial analysis that your normal, ego-laden mind is capable of.

Examples of this higher awareness are hunches, intuitive reasoning, premonitions, insights, and brainstorming. You will, I venture to say, amazed on how miraculous, bountiful, wondrous and fascinating Life, Your Life, which is connected with the One Life, or God, really is. But first you have to slough off the old skin, the ego-s skin of conceptualized, compartmentalized and divisive thinking. It’s a challenge but with faith, persistence and a better awareness of the ever-shifting Now, you can, and will, do it.

May the peace of God, which truly soars over and beyond all human understanding, keep your hearts and minds, be with you now and forever. Amen.


Written by

The Dr. of Badology, aka Lee A. Eide



Book and eBook Sites:

“The ‘Bad’ Path to Nirvana: Experience Enlightenment by Not Doing What W.W. Does


Live the Perfect Life Now! – Discover & Experience Essence of Buddhism in 50 Pages – https://gumroad.com/l/LbmR

Overcome Any Personal Obstacle, Including Alcoholism, By Understanding Your Ego” – http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/leewriter

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“Breaking Bad” – Season 2, Episode 8 – “Better Call Saul” Reblogged

Season 2, Episode 8 – “Better Call Saul”

In honor of “Better Call Saul”,  the series, I am re-blogging my take on the “Bad” episode in which Saul makes his audacious, wisecracking, fearless debut.  Next to Walter, aka Heisenberg, Saul is my favorite character on “Breaking Bad”. Who can resist a lawyer with Saul’s ingenuity, connections, creativity and ballsy-ness?

Image in re use in Episode 1 post


For a complete summary, go to http://www.amctv.com and look up “Better Call Saul”. For the purposes of this blog, here’s the big stuff:

  • Walter White-Jesse Pinkman Meth Inc. takes a major hit: Badger is arrested after he sells product to an undercover agent.
  • Badger doesn’t give the DEA much info, says only his supplier is an older, bald man.
  • Saul Goodman, wisecracking attorney with late-night TV ad – “I fight for you, Albuquerque” and “Better call Saul”– appears in jail cell, shoos away the detective and hands the arrested Badger his business card.
  • Walt and Jesse approach Saul’s strip-mall office. Walt is uneasy about hiring Saul but Jesse’s on board with it: “You don’t want a criminal attorney. You want a criminal attorney.”
  • They go back and forth, eventually Walt and Jesse hire Saul to represent Badger. Saul declares that someone has to go to jail for this crime. He tells new clients that they can hire/pay someone to go to jail in Walter’s place, someone who looks like Walter who’s willing to take money in exchange for serving time in jail.
  • Plan works, a bald guy named Jimmy In-‘N-Out willingly sells to Badger with DEA and APD looking on.
  • Saul finds Walt in his classroom. Walt asks if he’s blackmailing him. Saul says no, that he wants to help Walter by providing the connections and right strategy for selling their blue meth. “If you want to make more money, and keep the money that you make, BETTER CALL SAUL.”

The devil never says he’s the devil. He claims to be the opposite, your savior, the guy (gal) with all the answers to your problems. Saul tells Walt everything he wants to hear: I can keep you in the meth business by finding customers for your product and moreover, I’ll make sure no one finds out about all the money you make from selling meth so you keep as much money as possible from your efforts.

Saul, to me, is the epitome of evil. He and Walter duke it out for the King of Evil on “Breaking Bad”. Yeah Walter does kill many more people than Saul but it’s the sleazy lawyer who greases the wheels that keeps his client rolling along on the vehicle of death and misery that is the Walter White/Heisenberg-Jesse Pinkman Meth Inc. Just because you’re not putting the trigger doesn’t mean you’re not part of the problem.

If you like this blog, follow it on WordPress.com, share the content with your online tribe on Facebook, Twitter, etc.. THANK YOU. Have a blessed, completely aware day.

Note about the author of this blog:

Lee A. Eide is a freelance writer from Red Wing, MN. This blog shows how to free one’s self from any obsession by living beyond the narrow confines of the ego. His book, “Overcome Any Personal Obstacle, Including Alcoholism, By Understanding Your Ego”, is available at http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/leewriter and on Amazon.com.

Self Hel[ Book Cover

His latest publication, an eBook entitled “The ‘Bad’ Path to Nirvana: Experience Enlightenment by Not Doing What W.W. Does”, is available at https://gumroad.com/products/RglBe.

Bad Path to Enlightenment in re new title

Also available on Amazon.com and www.xlibris.com:

“Dead Man’s Plan” – spiritual thriller that’s been described as “a unique and fascinating read” by Midwest Book Reviews and “a great, exciting story with well-developed character’s” by Mary E. Dana of SharpWriter magazine.

DMP Book Cover-1

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The pre-Saul Jimmy McGill had a busy, character-building episode.“Better Call Saul – Season 1, Gun aimed point-blank at his at his forehead, pleading for first his own life, then pleading for his skateboarding, con men clients’ lives and then to keep as many body parts intact and unbroken as possible, striving to build as his law practice without relinquishing his soul to Satan, and then, at the very end of the “Mijo”, contemplating a felonious but oh-so-lucrative opportunity presented by a drug-dealing associate of the psychotic madman who was on the brink of killing him under the desert sun.

It’d be easy for Jimmy, like it’s easy for all of us when we find ourselves in an most unfortunate, stressful situation, to blame external forces for our woes. “Why me?” “What did I do to deserve this?” For a long time, roughly the first fifty years (I’m 54 going on 55 as of the date of this post), I was like that.

After I got arrested and charged with my 3rd DWI within ten years, I felt that way. But before I review the circumstances of the 3rd DWI, I want to provide a thumbnail sketch of my life’s journey prior to the arrest:

I’d gotten two DWI’s, 2003 and 2007. The first one was when my wife Amy and I were heading home from a bar. We’d both been getting drunk on an extremely regular basis for about three years but alcohol wasn’t yet the completely debilitating, devastating and as it tragically turned out for my wife Amy, lethal.

But since Amy’s death (from excessive long-term drinking) on November 24, 2006, I completed an inpatient 21-day alcohol-treatment program, spent three months at a Hastings, MN halfway house (Cochran House), and had bouts of sobriety interspersed first with the roughly twice-weekly secret drunks and then after my father passed away and I had the house to myself, four- or five-day binges that led to stays in detox (2010). Then I was inspired and motivated (and disciplined enough) to stay sober for a 18 months ( 1) my wife’s death from long-term alcohol abuse and 2) Eckhart Tolle’s insights about the nature of the egoic/ego-centric mindset (from Feb. 2011 through Aug. 2012).

Then I relapsed into about a twice-weekly drunkenness habit. Most (five out of seven) I didn’t drink but on those two days, I drank a lot, mostly 1800 Tequila at home. On the day before my third DWI arrest, I went bowling alone. To break up the monotony of throwing a heavy, round ball at 10 or less pins over and over, I drank four or five beers. Between the bowling center and my apartment, I picked up another bottle of 1800. It was early the following morning (and the day of the DWI arrest) before I stopped drinking. By then, I’d consumed most of the bottle. So I went to sleep, passed out really, around one AM.

When I woke up about nine hours later, it never occurred to me that I might be legally intoxicated. I got up, dressed, and hopped in my car to drive up to Inver Grove Heights to transfer a friend’s belongings out of the house of an ex-boyfriend’s father. A missed connection with my friend’s ex-boyfriend

‘s father, me taking a wrong turn and then an error in judgment resulted in my car getting stuck in on my vehicle being stuck just beyond a city and on private property. Since I’d lost track of where exactrly in the car my cellphone was located, I had to leave my car to search for a phone to borrow to call AAA so they could tow me out of the ditch.

The problem was a pair of local police officers in a squad car showed up about the same time as the AAA tow truck. Even after one of the police officers asked me if I’d been drinking I said, and I truthfully meant it, I said no. In a way, it was true. It wasn’t like I was driving home from the bar or driving home after boozing it up a party.

But the previous day and into the early-morning hours of the day in question, I had been drinking very heavily. I’ll spare you the rest of the gory, sordid details. I was found guilty but fortuitous timing of a DWI case ruling about the legality of police taking BAC readings via breath without consent provided ammunition for my lawyers to negotiate a favorable ruling.

For a long time (two, three, four months or so) afterward, I felt cheated. My initial view of the situation was that it was a fluke. In my mind, even technically and legally I was drunk and technically I had consumed alcohol on the day of my arrest, it didn’t seem right. I hadn’t planned on drinking and driving. I presumed that when I woke up that morning and got into my car that I was okay, legally and otherwise, to drive. But ignorance is no excuse for breaking the law. I was ignorant of my true sobriety/drunkenness levels. And my bad intentions – escaping reality through alcohol – put me in an unfortunate position.

It’d be easy for Jimmy, the man who eventually becomes the Breaking Bad Saul, to feel similarly. When he’s out in the desert with a violent drug dealer, Mijoʹ, threatening to kill him in an extremely painful, unpleasant way, even though we don’t know this for certain, if this were real life, the lawyer might very well have wondered, “How could I have gotten in this mess? God, please, save me, I don’t deserve to die.”

But of course, we the viewers know why Jimmy McGill was in such a pickle. It was his own damn fault. It was his con-job-gone-awry that led to him and his accomplishes being abducted by Tuco-like character from Bad. If Jimmy hadn’t been out looking to pull a con job in order to secure a new client for a bigger job – a $1.2M embezzlement case – Jimmy never would have crossed paths with Mijoʹ.

We reap what we sow” springs to mind. Jimmy McGill and I aren’t so different. Just like Walter White and I (when I was in the throes of my addiction to alcohol) aren’t so different either. And whether you’re an addict, alcoholic or neither, you aren’t that different from Jimmy or myself. Our external circumstances and your life stories are unique, different, one of a kind, but while we’re different, we’re not separate. We’re unityed. We’re united in one impossible-to-comprehend-intellectually metaphysical tapestry. While we can’t truly understnad the nature of God, we can experience it. We have only to shove our prideful egos aside.

Until next time, this The Dr. of Badology, Lee A. Eide, signing off


The Dr. of Badology presents The ‘Bad’ Path to Nirvana – Experience Enlightenment by Not Doing What Walter White Does” available for $2.99 at https://gumroad.com/l/RglBe.

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Writers Aren’t Always That Bright but it’s Our Egos That Can Make Us Stupid

There’s a popular image, a stereotype, really, associated with writers. They’re smarter, more witty, more imaginative and more articulate than the average person. Sometimes yes but a surprisingly large percentage of the time, they’re not. Or maybe I should say we aren’t because I am a writer.

This observation is based on personal experience. I’ve done a lot of stupid things in my life, including misunderstanding the marketplace’s reaction to my submissions and completed writing projects (movie scripts, book,s e Books and blogs). Recently I sent out text message to about ten friends that was a rant bemoaning my poor, almost (sold one copy since I self-published it on January 22, 2015). I couldn’t believe how foolish and without good taste the general book-buying public was. And it was even worse with family and friends that they weren’t buying my e Book. They knew me personally and yet they didn’t buy my latest publication. How dare they not love what I had written!


I was taking it personally that almost no one – except you, Stephen S. Craig, a thousand thank-yous for your purchase – was buying “The Dr. of Badology presents The ‘Bad’ Path to Nirvana – Experience Enlightenment by Not Doing What W.W. Does” – http://gumroad.com/products/RglBe. NOTE: I changed the title from its original one after the dearth of sales.

Anyway, the point is I was incredulous and indignant about the collective yawn issued from my target market. What was wrong with them? And then I realized it might the marketing. What was I doing wrong with my e Book description, blog posts, e-mails, texts, and other promotional material?

After the ego’s three-headed dragon – frustration-anger-resentment – ran its course, I was able to take a more rational, balanced and truthful assessment of the situation. It wasn’t personal. Friends, family and total strangers weren’t rejecting me personally nor were they involved in a giant conspiracy to make me a loser Indy author. It was simply that my product and associated pitches didn’t resonate with them enough to cause them to buy an electronic copy of my book. Maybe they didn’t love “Breaking Bad” as much as me. Or maybe the angle – using Walter White as the poster child for how not to treat and perceive others – didn’t excite them. Or maybe they had so many other things going on in their life right now that the thought of reading a nonfiction e-Book from an unestablished author didn’t appeal to them.

And after all, it was a short time frame I was looking at. In the long run, maybe I do end up selling a ton (1000’s or hundreds of 100,000’s) of copies. Or maybe it’s a total flop like my first self-help book. There’s always that chance too. The key is I shouldn’t view my aspirations, dreams, hopes and striving for success as more important or any differently than that of everyone else. Most of us, generally speaking, are, most of the time, just trying to get along. But there are times when we’re not trying to just get along on our own merits and good works. There are times when we think we deserve more than we really do.

That’s our egos – our limited, separate sense of self that says we’re an island, separate from and somehow more important than the rest of the universe – talking. But we don’t have to buy into the ego’s lies. As a Zen Buddhist master once said, “No ego, no problem.”

Self Hel[ Book Cover

My first book, “Overcome Any Personal Obstacle, Including Alcoholism, By Understanding Your Ego” – http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/leewriter – is all about deconstructing the ego. It’s too late to prevent the house of the ego’s construction, it’s already there for almost all of us citizens of Planet Earth, but it’s not too late to start tearing down the rigid psycho-spiritual structure of the ego that separates us from insights, treasures and awareness of our inherit unity with the joys of Life.

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The Holy Bible uses the power of faith in God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit to flatten the house the Ego built and replace it with God’s Fortress of Life and Love. And for those individuals whose ego-built house is too entrenched and powerful to be taken down just yet, at least The Holy Bible, Zen Buddhism and Buddhist-inspired writing (like mine) has the ability to allow the the winds of truth to blow through the windows of the soul’s house.

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