- Sleazy Saul Goodman gives money laundering lesson to Walt, says he’s got $16K left of drug money, enough to buy a 2nd-hand Subaru, so he should cook meth while he still can.
- Walt lies to Skyler, says he’s going to visit his mom. After Skyler drops him off at airport, Jesse picks him up with RV and they drive out into the desert to cook meth.
- Walt makes Jesse clear space in the cook area. Jesse clears area and in the process sticks key into the ignition, unwittingly causing an indicator light to come on.
- Montage of marathon cook session that yields 42 pounds ($627,000 each) by the time it’s complete. The partners do a high five.
- Elation is short-lived after they discover the indicator light on dashboard has completely drained the RV’s battery. Jesse accidentally spills some of the gas he siphons from the RV on the generator and a stray spark sets the generator ablaze. Jesse douses fire with the last of their drinking water. Eventually Walt improvises a makeshift batter from their lab supplies and they jump start the battery and drive back into civilization.
- Jesse drops Walt off at the airport. “I know I can trust you to, uh…” Walt begins. “Whatever happens, your family will get your share,” Jesse replies.
- At the doctor’s office, Walt learns that his cancer is in remission and his tumor has shrunk by 80%. Skyler, Hank and Marie congratulate him. Dr. Delcavoli the white spot on the scan is tissue inflammation that’s very treatable but that coughing up blood, which Walt didn’t initially tell anyone about, is bad because it might result in a dangerous rupture. “No more secrets, Walt,” says the doctor.
- In rest room at the doctor’s office, Walt sees his reflection on a metal towel dispenser and violently pounds it with his fist.
Walt is still in transition. He hasn’t wholeheartedly embraced the Heisenberg persona. He’s aware of his lies and deceptions but like a victim in a “Saw” movie, he doesn’t see any way out of his predicament unless he lies. The last scene in the rest room shows Walt’s self loathing, which means he’s knows he’s been a real scumbag and strikes out the reflection of himself on the towel dispenser.
Long-time alcoholics like myself often reach their breaking point and the result is like Walt’s pounding his reflection with his fist. With me, the breaking point came in February of 2006. I’d been consuming copious amounts of alcohol every night (and some days too) for approximately three and a half years, the last six months being especially bad because the ringing in my ears, tinnitus, combined with Amy’s worsening health issues due to her abuse of alcohol, had combined to give me a prolonged case of insomnia. I used my insomnia as an excuse to drink too much. The problem was my sleeping pills weren’t strong enough to help me get to sleep so I mixed alcohol with them, which of course was a stupid thing to do. After I told me my doctor this, he refused to sign off on anymore prescriptions. So I just drank a lot but passing out isn’t the same thing as falling asleep naturally. Many times I’d wake up at 3 or 4 a.m. and not being able to fall back asleep. Then I’d frequently e-mail my boss to let her know I was using a sick day.
Then one February morning I was taking a walk around the neighborhood. I was both exhausted from lack of sleep and wired from the stress of not sleeping and weighed down by my guilt of not doing something to help my wife Amy turn her life around. The fatigue was profound, my nerves were shot. It was the only time in my life I felt like killing myself. I called the Fairview Southdale Medical Center and told them about my problems. They urged me to come in to see a psychiatric specialist, which I did. I spent two or three days in the psychiatric ward. After being released, I started but did not finish an outpatient alcohol rehab program run by Fairview.
Walt didn’t try to kill his physical self like I briefly contemplated but he was trying to at least really hurt himself in a symbolic, metaphorical way when he beat on his reflection in the rest room.
A central theme of the show how destructive a criminal lifestyle is because it creates the need to deceive. This is reflected beautifully when the doctor says, “No more secrets, Walt.” Out in the desert, Jesse catches his partner in a lie when he points out that methylamine doesn’t spoil, which was the reason Walt gave Jesse for having to cook now instead of waiting until the next weekend (Jesse wanted to spend time with landlord Jane but Walt used the spoiling methylamine lie to convince him to cook instead).
As shown by Walt’s on-the-fly creation of a mercury battery made from lab supplies so they can jump start the RV battery, Walt’s problem isn’t that he doesn’t have a lot of answers to questions, especially in the chemistry field. His problem is he’s asking the wrong question. He asks, “How can I keep making meth without getting caught or killed?” instead of asking, “How in the hell can I get out of the meth business ASAP?”
When I was a raging alcoholic, I was asking the wrong questions: “How much tequila do I have left? What kind of booze should I have tonight? Do I have time to get to the liquor store before it closes?” Instead I should have asked, “How can I stop drinking?”
Another way to say, “Am I asking the right questions?”, is ask yourself, “What are my priorities? Your priorities drive your actions and direct your energies in a certain direction. Make sure it’s the right direction for you.
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Note about the author of this blog:
Lee A. Eide is a freelance writer from Red Wing, MN. This blog shows how to free one’s self from any obsession by living beyond the narrow confines of the ego. His book, “Overcome Any Personal Obstacle, Including Alcoholism, By Understanding Your Ego”, is available at http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/leewriter and on Amazon.com.
Also available on Amazon.com and www.xlibris.com:
“Dead Man’s Plan” – spiritual thriller that’s been described as “a unique and fascinating read” by Midwest Book Reviews and “a great, exciting story with well-developed character’s” by Mary E. Dana of SharpWriter magazine.
Author’s website is http://www.leeeide-thewriter.com. Eide lives in Red Wing with his cat Shaggy II. His wife Amy died on November 24, 2006 after years of abusing alcohol. Eide nearly died a little over a month later from quitting drinking cold turkey. He entered a 21-day inpatient rehab program at Fountain Center in Albert Lea, MN right after the near-death-experience, then moved to the Cochran House in Hastings, MN, a halfway house. Two months later, he moved in with his father Lavern. He’s had periods of sobriety, including 18 months (from Oct. 2010 to March 2012) during which he wrote “Overcome Any Personal Obstacle, Including Alcoholism, By Understanding Your Ego”, since then.
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